I think there must be something wrong with me.
When I fall, I fall hard and fast. I give any relationship my all, even if the other person isn't really invested in it yet, or sometimes at all.
I wear my heart on my sleeve and will help anyone out when I can. To the point that I will go without if you need it more.
But, every time I get an inkling of attraction from someone, it's like I run them off without looking back.
I know he liked me by the way he looked at me. It took me time to build up the courage to simply send him a friend request, and he clearly was happy to see it because it only took him 15 minutes to accept. But I felt awkward and didn't know what to say to him. By the time I figured out what I wanted to say he's unfriended me. Why? Did he realize that what he once wanted was only wanted because he was drunk? Did he just want a distraction? That's not me, I won't allow myself to simply be someone's distraction or a one night stand. I've been told he isn't really over his ex, who apparently repeatedly cheats on him. I've been cheated on, and I would never do that to him. Or was it simply that he felt embarrassed by his drunken confession, which was relayed to me? Did he look at my profile and become disinterested?
I just want an answer, because quite frankly it's becoming tiresome wanting to be loved how I know I deserve to be, but no one wants to give me that type of love.
Why is it so easy for people to take and take but they can't give in return. I mean I stopped looking. I was content with the fact that it's very possible that I will be alone forever. Then he looked at me and seemed interested while we talked. I didn't want to go with him that night. He was drunk after all. I didn't want to just be a hookup. I suppose that's all he wanted? I just don't know. He seemed nice enough and like he wouldn't hurt me.
Just so tired of trying to open my heart, even the slightest, to get it broken over and over.
Why does no one ever want me?!?!?
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